Can I Trust You?

It all boils down to trust.


All of us have an intuitive trust meter that immediately senses whether we can trust a person or not. This intuitive trust meter was given to us at birth. It is molded, shaped, and formed based on our life experiences, what we’ve been programmed to believe though our family history, what we see in our neighborhood, and who we hang around most in our young formative years. 


This intuitive trust meter is like a computer that quickly tabulates experiences in an instant based upon the set of inputs, as described above. Like a computer, it can literally “spit out” data. That’s how our brains work, and that’s how our intuitive trust meter works. The data we spit out is like snap judgments. These snap judgments can help us, as they can offer certain protective measures that can result in an outcome for us. However, at times, these snap judgements can result in a bad outcome, and have a negative impact upon us and others that can result in unconscious biases. To learn more about how our unconscious bias is formed, check the New York Times video shorts that explain this concept.


It’s a fine line, to know if these snap judgements help or hinder us and others. 


The only way to test your intuitive trust meter is to offer your brain the opportunity to grow and learn a set of new experiences. The problem is, often, most people don’t want to learn these new experiences because they can result in an uncomfortable process, as they take us out of our comfort zone. It takes work to rewire our brains and challenge our intuitive trust meter, but our brains are malleable and we can grow new ways of learning and thinking, as evidenced by the research discussed in The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor and in Carolyn Dwerk’s Growth Mindset


Put yourself to the test:

  • Describe the people that you trust most often and why. 

  • Describe the type of people that you distrust most often and why. 

  • Are there any patterns and themes that you see emerging?

  • Why do you suspect these patterns and themes exist? 

  • Did you see these patterns and themes present in your childhood? 

  • Is your intuitive trust meter based upon certain hurts, habits, or hang-ups that you have developed in your life? How so?

  • How has your intuitive trust meter helped or hindered you? Do you know the difference? 

  • Do you see how negatives biases can impact yourself and others?

  • How can you find ways to expand your knowledge and wreck some of your biases?

By asking yourself these questions and journaling your results, you can begin to see how your intuitive trust meter is formed. You’ll also begin to develop some new methods of thinking along the way. 


Challenge yourself for thirty days by implementing this simple practice to become more aware of your intuitive trust meter:

  • Take ten minutes every single morning to focus on yourself. Set your alarm for ten minutes before getting started for your day. 

  • Take the first five minutes and sit in silence, to just breathe (in through your nose and out through your nose). Set your alarm. This may be difficult at first, but I'm telling you, you'll begin to see things differently. Commit to it. You may wish to practice a set of affirmations that begin with the words “I am" during this time, to set intentions for yourself. You may find the answers to the above questions may provide some things you need to work on. Or just simply breathe. 

  • Then, take another five minutes to write down your thoughts in your journal. Consider purchasing the Cause Gear journal and make a difference at the same time. Perhaps you may wish to write out your “I am” statements, how you are doing, or whatever comes up for you.


Believe me, by doing this work, you will grow your intuitive trust meter, wreck some biases along the way, and find ways to be more trusting where you need to. 

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© 2019 by Diana Patton